How can you help your loved ones be more fit?

Hey Athletes!

I received a great question last week and I wanted to share a bit of my answer here.

Without going into too much detail, someone had asked me about what they can do or suggest for someone they care about who they believe could benefit from cross training and adding activity into their day. Specifically a riding coach - though the advice could be applied to any loved one.

Us horse people are notoriously terrible about self care because we always put others (our horse) ahead of our own needs, and I think coaches are the next level of this because they are not just putting the horse first, but all their students as well.

The problem I see is that really you can't make anyone do something they are not consciously wanting to go after. So if someone is not yet ready for a fitness program or seeing the value, pushing anything on them isn't going to create meaningful change, it has to come from within. Even suggesting things in the nicest way risks being taken the wrong way and offending, it’s quite the predicament!

I think breaking the stigma that self care is selfish might help pique one’s curiosity about wellness and cross training. I know coaches around here very rarely have health plans and they tend to put off things that could vastly improve their lives. Things that they wouldn't second guess for their horse like dental, massage, orthotics.

What I have been coming back to that I think you might be able to do is start out with a small gift of care provided you have a close enough relationship with your coach (or the person) that it is appropriate. I think that if you want to do something, I would say just take the time to listen to their woes and see if you can find a way to give them that gift of care - maybe something like a massage or insoles for their shoes. Something that is personal will give them a lot of "bang" for the buck and show them you notice I think would have the impact you are looking for - you can build the relationship and break the stigmas. I would be listening for complaints of pain, poor performance, missing goals, plateauing and so forth.

I think showing them that you are listening and care will help open up the conversation to more activities as well and once that happens, you could show them some stretches (tell them to sign up for my newsletter and get the free 15 minute stretch video lol) or some of your favourite bite sized exercises. Things like this grow when they come from that loving place.

I think also understanding their goals is a super important aspect. If their top, most motivating goal is to see you all through to the top level of the sport for example, how would adopting a fitness or self care program help them achieve this? I think an open and honest conversation is the best place to start here.

I think you can also show good leadership by doing what you are already doing and taking care of yourself and cross training... when you get the results, others will notice, and they will start asking what you are doing differently. Be proud and open about what you are doing differently and what you notice is making big impact on your pain and performance.

Really the only person we can create change in is ourselves, so don’t be afraid to lead by example! Leadership is actually two way street - it doesn’t have to always be a top down dynamic.

I know that is so much harder than just assigning an exercise like doing step ups on the mounting block between lessons or something, but any meaningful change starts internally.

I hope that helps inspire you all today!

Cheers,

Sarah