I got burned! Ouch!

Wow I would sure hate to be that chick! LOL!

Is it any wonder why we get impostor syndrome? Can I ask you to read through that again… do you feel any less like an impostor after reading that? Do you feel encouraged?

Let me try rephrasing it a little bit.

Example… chick did 2 days, and despite not finishing, she was able to learn from her mistakes and watch those of others and since then has completed and even excelled at many noteworthy races, enough to feel confident in training others to chase their dreams.

Or what about this one

Example… chick did 2 days and after withdrawing and following the riders around with the crew, discovered her true passion was in helping others achieve their dreams and decided to dedicate her life to this.

Are you feeling a little better yet? I always find redemption and the underdog story much more inspiring - at least more than saying “you can’t possibly be worse than this poser!”.

My point here is the driver of impostor syndrome is in the black and white - success and failure as defined in the dictionary. No, I have not completed the Mongol derby, but I did get my derby experience. A race that big changes someone whether its what you expected or not. It gives you what you need… are you open to accepting its gifts?

My gift was people. Amazing people who brought me into their tribe, who I get to ride in wild places with. Who share their derby experiences with me and give me more tools and advice to then pass on to others. People who challenge me to continue to learn and share. Knowledge doesn’t have to be first hand to be valuable, but we still have to earn it. I earned mine by being friendly, helpful, and encouraging. I earned mine by dropping my defenses and learning to be vulnerable so others could do the same with me. That was my biggest “failure” in the derby, the refusal to be vulnerable.

Think back now, how have you earned the tools in your toolkit? Have you learned them as a result of perceived “failures”? Great, stop calling them failures and call it progress. As you can see from me, yes, some people will continue to define you only by your failures. You can’t change their opinion, but there is one person’s whose opinion you can change. That is yours. That is one less person hating on you, and that feels wonderful.

Here is another thing that I tell the riders that I work when when they are doubting themselves.

1) Nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are thinking about you (they are spending 99% of their time thinking about themselves, this is the absolute truth!)

2) Even when they do think of you, its rarely what you think they are thinking of you

and

3) Even if you are right in what they think about you, relish the fact that you have made enough of an impact to hold a space in their mind… for everyone hung up on hating you, there are 10 more people silently looking up to you as their role model, and they think you are AWESOME (and if you don’t believe this, count me as superfan #1)

Yes, I still get impostor syndrome here and there, but its a little less than I felt last year, and last year was a little less than before that, and it most certainly was lower than when I lined up at the derby start line.

So cut yourself a break.

Get off social media for a day.

Go out and spend some time with those positive people who think you are a rockstar - I will be here if you need me ;)

-Sarah

PS if you hadn’t guessed, I am that chick! And proud of it!